Find your tribe....and then please leave all other tribes alone

We've heard it often enough before:  if you feel out of place and wondering where you might fit in, you need to 'find your tribe'......meaning people like you or at least people with whom you feel comfortable and at home.  It's a community where you can feel safe, feel free to be yourself, be vulnerable, laugh hard, cry a little, argue a bit, and then still be a tribe in the morning. We say it a lot to middle schoolers.  You know, those kids in the awkward in between stage of being a child and a young adult.  You know the time in our lives none of us older than 18 would ever want to repeat again. You're growing into yourself and finding out who you are.  Helps if you can do it somewhere you click, somewhere you just go aaaahhhhh, these people are like me and these people like me.

So you need to find your tribe.

Here's the thing we all need to remember though when we find our own tribe:

Other tribes do not suck.

It always amazed me after decades of being under Soviet rule, how quickly all of the ethnic battles popped right back up and got bloodier than ever when the USSR fell apart and with it the hold of communism on the eastern block countries.  We didn't like you a hundred years ago, we still don't like you today. Maybe we've been at peace for a while, but it's all about who gets the power now. And when my tribe is in power, I'm going to make sure I do everything to squelch your tribe.

The Armenians didn't like the Azerbaijanis, the Serbs didn't like the Bozniaks and the Croats, the Sunnis still don't like the Shiites, the Hutu slaughtered all the Tutsis, the Arabs are constantly at war with the Jews, the Irish Protestants loathe the Irish Catholics, the Republicans don't like the Democrats.

People. People listen. Let other tribes be. There's a place for everyone. There's never going to be enough power to go around.  Everyone wants their tribe to be on top.  But here's the catch:  we never come to any agreement or workable solution without one side giving some and the other side giving some and meeting somewhere in the middle.

What if we just said, what I have is enough?  I have enough and I want everybody else to have enough.

So if you are at all physically and mentally capable, you take care of your own self (as a viral toddler rant on the internet once went).  If you don't believe in abortion, don't get one. If you want to worship Allah, great! But don't kill people who worship Jesus Christ. If you believe a black life matters, don't kill a blue one.

You have your tribe and you love your tribe but we all need to live in the world with other tribes. OK. But do you have to take all the other tribe's stuff? Do you have to dominate the other tribe and make the other tribe feel lesser than and unworthy and humiliated? Do we have to use the words libertard and repuglican? Didn't our mothers and fathers tell us not to call each other names?

I've often wondered who Bashar al-Assad is going to rule when the bloody Syrian civil war is over. He's killed most of the Syrians or they've fled the country.  Is it really that important to have killed that many of your own people so that your tribe can rule? Rule what? Rule whom? Will you have a country left? You're going to be a tribe of one. Guess what?  Not a tribe.

We live in a country where a lot of people have come to escape ethnic cleansing and civil war and genocide.  Immigrants among us? Start by looking in the mirror.  Our country is not a white country. Our country is not a Christian country.  Our country is made up of all different kinds of people, races, religions, ethnicities, and cultures.

People. Let's celebrate tribes.

Of all kinds.

Your tribe will still be around in the morning.

This is my tribe

Cindy Lou Who

I got this feeling when I was listening to the national anthem before the NHL Finals game 6 between the Sharks and the Penguins on the night of the Orlando massacre.

Listening to those beautiful words after the horrific events of that early morning, reminded me of Cindy Lou Who.  You know - the little Who who taught us what Christmas really meant.  The Grinch tried to steal Christmas. He took the presents, the bows, the trees, the ornaments, the food for the feast.  He thought he'd squashed their spirit and their holiday.

Yet he couldn't load the essential element on his sled because it was intangible.  The Grinch couldn't understand why the Whos weren't upset.  He'd taken all of the things he thought were important. Come Christmas morning, though, all the Whos woke up, walked outside, joined hands and sang. Sang to welcome Christmas morning. Sang to be glad to be together and share fellowship and welcome the day. It wasn't about things. It was about people, community, togetherness.

Here in these United States, we feel the same.  We start every sporting event by singing the national anthem.  No matter which side you're rooting for, there's one side we all root for:  our country.

If anyone thinks they can take our freedom and our pride by stealing it, by bombing it, by shooting it up - well, quite frankly, they have another think coming.  Being American, being able to express yourself, being who you truly are, living and loving and pursuing happiness....that's not something you can buy at the store.  And, no, the victims of the Orlando massacre are not things.  Far from it. But terror tries to take freedom. Terror tries to take our souls.  Terror tries to tell us to stay home. Don't go out dancing, don't pursue happiness, be submissive, walk only one line and be only one way. Stay in the proverbial closet.

So let's just be clear:

That is not who we are.

That is not what we do.

We are everyone.  We are every person.  We are gay, straight, white, black, rich, poor, Christian, Jew, Muslim, atheist, young, old, tall, short, nice, mean, blonde, brunette, southern, northern, liberal, conservative, married, single, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins.

You cannot terrorize us.

We will not let you.

We will not stop being who we are and doing what we do.

We will persevere.

We will join hands and celebrate the day and celebrate freedom and sing loudly and boldly.

We will not go away.

We will not quit being American.

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